Well its 1143pm..im working myself to wind down for the nite..today robert came and did a lot around the house with jon..i spent the day taking our wedding clothes to the dry cleaners before katie's wedding rolls up on me! i also got laundry done too..i invited tracy to bring her grandchildren over to swim..and i sat outside with her and visited while my girls swam too - whoo hoo no baths again!
we ate dinner, cleaned up dinner, and the girls relaxed watching a movie..my parents called on their way back from bullhead to see if they could stop by in about an hour..around 830pm i got the girls into bed for the nite and then trained robert on how to transfer jon (its called a quad transfer) into bed..im a little nervous..i can feel my back a LITTLE tiny achy..so i wanted to be careful..then my parents came..i got jon cath'd real quick so i could go running..i took it easy and only walked 1.4 and then ran 2 miles..came back and visited more with my parents..my mom said she had gone upstairs and rachel was reading to anna in the bed together- SO CUTE!! i went up there to check on them around 11ish..and they were still in the same bed..SO CUTE!! i tried to ask rachel if she wanted anna in her bed or annas bed..but she was too sleepy..i thought, well in the pioneer days they had like 5 kids in ONE bed! so theyre fine!!
im a little worried because i feel a possible sore throat coming on..we'll have to see how i feel in the morning..im not sure what i will do if i get one..maybe just wear gloves all day?!?!
tomorrow jon has his PT appt at 5pm..i think ill just have scott take him and i'll stay home with the girls..
also tomorrow at 9am the new trial nurse will be here..i hope she works out..im REALLY ready for some help in the mornings..i feel like a robot in the morings now..a tired robot!!
it was great having my parents stop by...as they walked out they told me i was doing a great job, and that they were proud of me and to not worry about what anybody else thinks about how im doing it, and that im doing this way better then they would be..they are always SOOOOO good about telling me those things!! they truly help to lift my Spirits! i told my mom, we'll i aint no saint-but i try! i have a REALLY hard time communcating verbally to someone how im doing or how i feel about things..but im REALLY good at writing it down..hence the blog!! haha..so i sent them an email and explained that if im short with them on the phone, its only cuz im tired and not because im mad or anything of that nature..and this goes for everyone out there..please know that im NOT a good verbal communicator..i feel for some strange reason safer writing it down..so know that if i dont say hi and chit chat and visit..its simply because im tired and need some sleep..
it was strange, today sis. southwick invited sarah to come swim-she is sarah's primary teacher..so my friend took her there for me along with rachel..and as they left i thought..man i kinda would like to take them..but then that would mean i'd have to TALK to people!! i think well what would they say..probably "hey how are you doing? how's jon? your doing a great job, etc"..and then i think, how would i respond, would i start bawling? would i give short answers for fear of bawling? would i feel wierd because they aleady know all of my feelings if they are reading the blog? would i be able to be my normal funny care free easy going self? anyway- silly questions that go thru my mind and keep me from doing things like that..but as i thought about this i thought that i just need to put myself out there and get back to myself again..which is why i go running, so that i keep talking and trying to be normal, and why i invited tracy to come swim, so that i can keep talking and trying to be normal, ive realized i need to take baby steps...and it will come..i will find myself again..sometimes i feel like i turn into a robot here, not really going anywhere other then the doctor, pt or walgreens, the days just passing me by...it was wierd to even just go to target in the beginning, but now no problem! so i will just need to take babysteps and put myself out there again..
well its now midnite..i need to try to get some sleep!
1 year ago
5 comments:
Your parents sound wonderful! Well, of course they are...they raised a wonderful daughter!! Hope you get some good sleep tonight.
((((hugs))))
marvista66
Just wanted to send an encouraging word your way. I know how each day is a challenge. I understand how you feel as the primary caregiver to someone who can do almost nothing for themselves. I know how overwhelming it is. You are doing the right things. I am proud of you. I am so glad to read that you are doing all you can to stay healthy and fit. Keep that up. I have suffered some debilitating injuries as a result of having to lift my husband while he was so very ill - do whatever you can to strengthen yourself so that doesn't happen to you. You go girl! The Lord must be so proud of you! I am so impressed by the way you are handling things with your children. Wonderful! I am so impressed by your efforts to keep your family as "normal" as possible. So glad you went on the cruise - that was an important thing to do. Very important. I am also glad that others who have had to deal with a spouse with similar injuries to your husband's are sharing with you. An answer to prayer I'm sure! Please know that I empathize with you and understand all of your feelings. It is good that you can get them down on paper. If you didn't write them down, you would forget them. Trauma sometimes makes us forget. I have forgotten so much about the trauma involved in my late husband's care. My mind just pushed it all away, I think as a means of protection. I was too tired to write it all down each day and I just didn't want to relive it all. So, I have no record of it and I don't remember much. What you are doing is better. Don't worry what others think, even your family. You love them, and their thoughts are important to you but what you are going through is truly incomprehensible to anyone who hasn't done it themselves.
With love from PDiva
Lately when I have had a sore throat coming on I have been taking Airborne.. you can find it at the drug store. It has things like a high dose of Vit C,Echinecea,Zinc..etc. all rolled into one. It tastes a little weird but it has been working for me.
I am sure you get tired of people asking you "how things are" "how's Jon?" etc. I hope people realize and try to put themselves into your situation and are sensitive to your feelings. But I am sure that is not always the case.
I hope you have a good day today...and Jon also...Love ya
You are such an inspiration! Big, big, really big (((hugs))) to you.
Carol (peaceandlove at MC)
You are such an inspiration!
Big, big, really big (((hugs))) to you.
Carol (peaceandlove at MC)
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