Today has just been a quiet sunday for us all..jon is still really tired..he actually asked about his blood pressure medicine..he's yet to try it though..hes still resting in his bed..i hope to get him into his chair today...
the girls are HAPPILY all playing together- its amazing that all 4 can actually be nice for a couple of hours and play well together!! i hope Heaven is like this!
I for some reason had a REALLY hard time last nite...as i layed next to jon in his bed i had noticed he was really sweaty on his neck and shoulders and face..i quickly looked at his urine bag..it had a little urine in it..but he shouldnt have been having signs of dysreflexia since hes constantly draining..i was beginning to calmly freak out..i quickly took his BP and it was up to 125/90..which i know is still good pressure but for someone who's always at 87/57..thats a jump! so i layed there and told him i'd just keep watching him..he had been sleeping for 1.5 hours by the time i finished everything and crawled in next to him..after about 15 minutes the sweating subsided..man...its so hard! i feel like im constantly making sure he's not going to die..its so hard to live a life like that and how SO MANY things could go wrong and end in a result i do not want..which makes my mind start thinking..i think the weddings also have been hard on me..its like i cant even remember what it was like when jon was walking and healthy..those memories are foggy and fainting..im SO thankful i have our wedding video to watch and our wedding photos and other things..i feel like ive been living this life for 10 years already..instead of only 4 months...as i layed next to him i looked at the scar on his neck and just lost it..i kept thinking..jon and i made all the right choices...how did our lives end up like this? then a soft answer came to me as tears rolled down my face...quietly..trying not to wake jon..the answer was "i need you help" ..i know it was HF telling me in that quiet desperate moment.."i need your help in building the Kingdom of God"..i was thankful for that moment..
after a couple of phone calls i finally fell asleep at 130am...to wake at 330am to help jon with his meds and the routine that goes on in the middle of the nite..
Well we have no big plans for today..just taking it easy and enjoying the children being home with us..i cant believe in a few short weeks theyll be back at school ALREADY! the summer went so slow and so fast at the same time! i guess being that our day doesnt really start till 1230pm may make it seem like its going so fast...
Thank you for your continued prayers and service thats always rendered unto our family. We're so grateful for each and everything that happens to lighten our burden. How blessed we all are in times when there is so much ugliness in the world around us we can still be encircled in the Lords work here on Earth. Thank you.
1 year ago
1 comment:
I have followed your story for months now and pray for you and your family every day. I will have a mass said for you all this week for strength and comfort during this hard time. You are doing a great job under terrible stress and your love for your family and husband shows in your troubled posts as well as in the posts that celebrate. Know that you have touched many people with your blog posts. I know that may not be any comfort to you but I hope it does in the wee hours of the night.
Blessings and prayers.
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