monday evening..

well the rest of the day was pretty productive..i called on the wheelchair to find out it POSSIBLY hasnt even been STARTED YET!!! SO BUGGED!!! anyway, after 5 phone calls its on someones desk...who's on "vacation"..so ill have to stay on top of that one like EVERYTHING else...

i got the plans for the elevator lift..we have all the neighbors that needed to sign it except for 2...which 2 out of 7 isnt bad! so i just have those 2 left to sign, then send it over to the HOA committee to get it approved THEN we can send that to the city and THEN we can get it started ..

Jon was pretty quiet today..he's having STRONG muscle spasms today..ones that go into his stomach and chest making it hard to breath..we're going to up the baclofen to 15mg instead of 10...20 is the hightest he can go..and see if that helps to calm those down...hopefully its because things are coming back for him...

i talked to the cruise company and relieved a lot of our nervousness about going..so that was very helpful for us!! if jon doesnt go...then Kims family will stay at our house and Kim will be his nurse 24 hrs the time were gone...the ward will continue to bring meals next week while she'll be working so hard for him..hopefully he's able to go..but i worked super hard today to get next week figured out and organized incase he didnt come..ill probably just be mopey the whole time im gone..but my girls deserve a happy mom and some time spent with them..at this point, i guess i feel like people are going to judge me either way and i shouldnt care or worry about how they feel if i go or dont go..but its a constant battle for me to feel like i can do anything anymore...its not fun..but something im working on..

sometimes i go to bed and think...man i wish some days i didnt have to wake up! cuz its gonna be hard!! but i go to bed and manage to get up anyway..i think sleep helps you!! and the hope that it will be better then the day before..even though its CRAZY work all day..

tonite we did our family home evening...i talked about talents and then i picked dad to talk about each girl and what talent he thought they had..it was fun...anna's of course was her "imagination" and how she imagines she's a princess all day everyday - SO FUNNY!! we talked about why we have talents, and that Heavenly Father blessed everyone with atleast ONE talent to help his people on earth and help to build His kingdom. Anyway - it went great and then we gave the kids 2 tiny scoops of ice cream for their "treat"..

I managed to help jon into bed all by myself - which yep i can do! im superwoman but i told jon i think im getting MANLY ARMS!!!!???? yikes!! then i helped him to email a few business people, then i hurried and got kids into bed for the nite and quickly changed so i could go running and relieve some crazy amounts of stress..i ran my 2 miles again..i walke 1.4 and then i run 2...it was great..i didnt think i'd make it ..but i guess i had a lot on my mind and the iPod blaring!!

well i need to hit the sack...hope the doctors appt goes well tomorrow regarding his major UTI..pray that it does and that the UTI gets healed!!