alone for the night...

jon didnt sleep at all much last night...his mom got there and said he was doing okay..but he really missed me and seemed really down..she called me later in the day suggesting i come over and be with him for a bit..he's REALLY NERVOUS about his business and it not doing anything..but i assured him were doing what we can..and i helped him with his article that he's more nervous about getting it done and out and the magazine put together..hopefully that all is able to come together..
i was able to help clear his nose up so he could breath- he was SOOOO happy!! he said that although he didnt sleep at all last night...it was the best therapy day for him! we think its because he's now drinking ensure..that seems to REALLY help him!
sadly he got a roommate..an older gentlemen who cant hear...so we'll see how tonite goes...he decided to not have anyone sleep over with him..and to "test" to see if the nurses would actually help him during the night..he said if they dont..then he's going to tell them that "he tried not having anyone here and having the nurses help him..but he's not happy with the service"..and he'll request his own room and having someone stay the night with him...so we'll see how tonite goes...
tomorrow he has a short PT schedule..by 230pm he should be done..in time for his brother scott to get there and help more with his article and get more business stuff done...
today was sort of nice for me..i got to be home..did some of my usual chores..cleaned the garage out a bit so i could park my denali back in there..cleared another section for all the magazines coming back to us..i think like 80 boxes!! yikes! then i got oil changes on my truck and jons car..ran thru the grocery store for milk and eggs and then picked my 2 younger girls up from teresa's house...i put becca down and then thats when i got the call from sandra that jon wasn't very happy and was down..luckily sarah cannell had planned to come be here with the girls for 2 hours..so she just came and i left..
it was TOTALLY raining as i drove home..i went pretty slow on the freeway...im sure everyone else was bugged..but i thought oh well..my husband is paralyzed so i CANNOT get in ANY kind of car wreck right now!!!!!!!!! it would really mess things up!!!
i plan on being with jon tomorrow from about 10-2pm..then ill come back home to be with the girls and get homework done and stuff...
trying to find this balance is SO hard! seems someone suffers if im not there..whether its jon or the girls or the business or the house..there is really SOOOOOOOOOO much that i have to do...i have to file for state disability, social security, work with the insurance company, stay on top of rehab information, work with a case manager, social worker, rehab head guy, think about what im doing for the house modifications, thinking about a lift for my truck or another car for jon to drive with a lift, thinking about how im going to get him to his outpatient therapies after he gets home here, thinking about how to get a nurse to help me in the mornings and at night with jon...its seriously ENDLESS!!! but thankfully...im one organized chick!!! i feel like im pretty on top of things...and thats JUST things about jon..then i have the business stuff...worrying about the well being of my kids...its just crazy...
this friday i'll be spending time with the 2 older ones, rachel and sarah, friday night...thats when im really going to talk to them about their feelings and whats going on...they are excited for that they say...its so neat to have real bonding time with them...
this weekend and next weekend the girls will be going to uncle todd's house and to uncle scott's house...that way the house is open for jake thompson and whoever else to come tear the house apart...they'll be doing wood floors so jon can move in his wheelchair and putting a french door on the bedroom wall that will lead right into our family room/kitchen area...so jon will feel like he's part of the family vs stuck in a dungeon somewhere!!
on sunday i will meet with bob buckley from the orange 2nd ward he's going to be our "private case manager"..he will be a lot of help to us...he'll be able to tell us what kind of shower/tub we'll need, and what kind of wheelchair and bed and all that goes with all of this...
tomorrow they do their conference about jon..ill be anxious to find out what they say about him...he also had his xray but jon forgot to ask the doctor the findings of it..so im anxious to hear about that too..he was suppose to have an MRI done as well..so he's going to ask the doctor about that as well..
thanks to everyone thats helping me right now...i just cant believe were going thru this...it still doesnt seem real yet..im sure once my house gets torn apart..it will set in...no worries jake!! im ready to go..it will just be eye opening for me i guess...but hey - if thats what it takes to get jon home- so be it! im all for that!!! i miss him SOOOOOO much...i miss his companionship...everything..ill be so excited to have him home and just be able to lay right next to him and not have to worry about anything else...just to peacefully fall asleep...how wonderful..how simple..how perfect...
he asked about the girls..i said they are doing great..he asked me if they were mad that he's here and cant walk because now he cant give them horse rides up to their rooms each night...he totally lost it...the emotional rollcoaster is too much sometimes...
all in all i feel better now...so does he..and thats all that matters right now..is that the two of us are happy...we know the priesthood blessings that were given and we hold on to them...i know the peace i felt after i first prayed...all would be well..and we're on our way to being well...