Rough Night

Well its now 1215pm...i didnt get to sleep until 2am last nite..constantly thinking about changes in our home, our lives, with eachother etc..it was comforting to have sarah sleep in my bed with me..we are going to have the older 2 girls switch each nite so that i am not sleeping in that big master bedroom so alone..it was really comforting to have a warm body next to me!!
I just got done talking to jons mom who is actually asleep in her car in my drive way!! she says shes just so tired and super comfy in there she's staying put for a bit...
she told me jon had a horrible night last nite..his major issue is STILL his breathing..he's having MAJOR MAJOR anxiety about his breathing -if ANYONE knows ANYTHING about this - PLEASE email me and give me extra tips as to what we can do..were leaving the lights on during the nite a little..he fears that when he sleeps he stops breathing..which sometimes he does..and it totally scares him so he's getting anxiety attacks and his heart rate jumps up..they DID give him some anxiety medication to see if that would help to relax his nerves about all this..we'll see if that helps anything..but again he had no sleep thru the nite..
its VERY frustrating for me as his wife to be going home each nite SO hopeful only to wake in the morning to find out how bad it was...UGH!!! i just want to scream!!!
They did give sandra results of the MRI taken..and it shows that the spinal cord is dead at the C5 where he was injured..and told that he would not be able to use his legs...she did say that he feels the pressure on them so that has to mean something! but of course doctors give you the worst cause science scenerio and the HF takes it from there..so were still hopeful..and we'll work with what ever is dealt our way..even if it means no legs..
we did put in a request to have him transferred to loma linda..it was either that or corona or san bernadino..we picked loma linda because brad carlson has friends that can look out for him there and we've heard so much about loma linda..its about 30 minutes i believe from where i am at near redlands..
he STILL has his temp of 100.5...so it hasnt subsided..there was going to be talk of getting him on an antibotic for fear of that starting the pnemonia..
sandra did talk to him about the swelling in his feet and was told to keep working with them..rubbing them..elevating them more..working his legs so the swelling goes down...
as of right now PLEASE PLEASE with all your might pray that his anxiety goes away..and that the medication works in his favor and he's able to rest...and continue with better progress...he is in good hands with his dad right now..im so grateful!
i am SO BUSY at home..ive been working with scott and sheldon who are at the GDC convention..jon set up meetings with different people to discuss our business..so im trying to help that continue to be facilitated and in motion..
i now need to start the paper work for the disability insurance..then i will go down to the hospital to talk to dawn about loma linda and my insurance and what i need to be doing...
one thing at a time for me..i HATE to see jon suffering like this ..its just tearing me apart in every direction of my fragile heart...thats where HF steps in to fill in those holes with his comfort and peace and the love of my family and friends..each one of you seals up the holes in my heart..i thank you for that..
keep up the prayers- as jon says- "sall good...we'll lick this!"